The Supercar Registry

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- - joke (https://www.yenko.net/forum/showthread.php?t=133465)

For all of you who are married, were married, wish you were married or wish you were not married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine.

Fred was driving home from one of his business trips, in Northern Arizona, when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Navajo man if he would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the Indian got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Fred tried - in vain - to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo man. The old man just sat silently, looking intently at everything he saw, studying every little detail, until he noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Fred.

"What in bag?"- asked the old man.

Fred looked down at the brown bag and said: -"It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife."

The Navajo man was silent for another moment or two. Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he said: - "Good trade!"

HeHe -- good one! [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif[/img]

NEWS FROM MINNESOTA
The toilet seat was invented in Minnesota … but twenty years later a North Dakotan invented the hole in it.
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OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS
When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, 'I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents.'

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VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE
Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. 'The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400,' said the first Norwegian.
'Vell,' said the other one, 'At dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any more.'

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THE RELATIONS
Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached over and patted Lena on her knee.
' Lena , vat ever happened tew our sex relations?' he asked.
'Vell, Ole, I yust don't know,' replied Lena.
'I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas.'

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MUSIC SOLUTION
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.
'Oh,' said Ole, 'I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet.'
'How come?' asked Lars.
'Vell,' Ole answered, 'because vith a clarinet, she can't sing.'

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THE PRANK CALL
The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. 'Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here' he says and hangs up.
'Who vas dat?' asks Lena.
'I donno, some fool vanting to know if da coast vas clear.’

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HONEYMOON TRIP
On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena 's knee. Giggling, Lena said, 'Ole, you can go farther dan dat if you vant to'.
So Ole drove to Dulute.

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DA PARTY
Ole was arrested one night while walking bare naked down the streets of the little town of Montevideo, Minnesota. The policeman, who was a good friend of Ole's, said, 'Ole ... What in the world are you doing? Where are your clothes? You're naked.'
'Yah, I know,' said Ole. 'You see, I vas over to dat 'playboy' Swen's for his birthday party. Dere vas about ten of us. Dere vas boys and girls.'
'Is that right?' his policeman friend asked.
'Yah, Yah, anyvay, dat Swen, he says, 'Everybody get into the bedroom!' 'So vee all go into the bedroom ... where den he yells, 'Everybody git naked!' 'Vell, vee all got undressed. Den he yells, 'Everybody go to town!'
I guess I'm the first one here!'

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: "'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am". The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude".
"You must be a technician." said the balloonist. "I am" replied the man "how did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip with your talk."
The man below responded, "You must be in management". "I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the man "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my f#@!^%$ fault!!!

Isn't that the damn truth ... [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif[/img]

That is so on the money

WOW!! I need to very delicately send that around the shop!

Paddy says to Mick, "I'm getting circumcised tomorrow."
Mick says, "I had that done when I was a few days old.
Paddy asks, "Does it hurt?"
Mick says, " Well I couldn't walk for about a year."

HeHeHe -- dam glad I don't remember that!!!@#$

A successful rancher died and left everything to his
devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman
and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very
little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad
in the newspaper for a ranch hand...
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the
other a drunk.
She thought long and hard
about it, and when no one else applied she decided
to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to
have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours
every day and knew a lot about ranching..

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the
ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have
done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.
You should go into town and kick up your heels." The
hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and
he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around
two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the
rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a
glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her..

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly..
"Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently
and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it,
constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra.." Again, with
trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped
it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and
said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again,
you're fired."