joke

[Keith Seymore]

Originally Posted by earntaz

I've also seen the wing used as a pie rack ... LoL

The Judge wing is functional, as well.

K

[Lee Stewart]

A Hummer drives up to a gas station, and after a half hour, the driver is still pumping gas in.

The cashier walks out, and says to the guy, "If you will shut the motor off you can make some headway on that thing"

[Charley Lillard]

A young monk arrives at the monastery.

He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying

the old canons and laws of the church, by hand.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gKd2xaQ2Wd...4/s1600/1a.jpg

He notices, however, that all of the monks are

copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to question

this, pointing out that if someone made even a small

error in the first copy, it would never be picked up!

In fact, that error would be continued in all of

the subsequent copies.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xXyt2s5l3E...8/s1600/1b.jpg

The head monk, says, "We have been copying

from the copies for centuries, but you make a

good point, my son."


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ikLrOqA_wg...E/s1600/1c.jpg



He goes down into the dark caves

underneath the monastery where the original

manuscripts are held as archives,

in a locked vault that hasn't

been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the Old Abbot.


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JooMp6UNAa...w/s1600/1d.jpg

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.

He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

"We missed the
R!

We missed the
R!

We missed the bloody
R!"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old Abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies,

"The word was ....

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kfMhT--6TD...A/s1600/1e.jpg


CELEBRATE!"

[Lee Stewart]

A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and the mechanic says "OK, give me 10 minutes to check it out."

Meanwhile, the penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street. Thinking this is a perfect time for a tasty treat, he heads over and gets himself an ice cream cone.

After he finishes, he walks back over to the garage, and asks the mechanic "So, did you find out what's wrong?"

The mechanic looks at the penguin and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin quickly wipes his face and says "Oh, no, that's just the ice cream."

[Lee Stewart]

An Australian stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Madrid While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, ‘What is that you just served?’

The waiter replied, ‘Si Senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull’s testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!’

The Australian said, ‘I will have the same please.’

The waiter replied, ‘I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.’

The following day he returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, ‘These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.’

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied,

“Si, Señor. Sometimes the bull wins.”

[earntaz]

Ole??!@#$

[Lee Stewart]

[Lee Stewart]

[Charley Lillard]

During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level

He described a typical day this way: 'Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,

marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand

and took four leaks behind big trees.'

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, 'You must be one hell of an outdoors man!'



'NAH,' he replied, 'I'm just a shitty golfer.'

[Lee Stewart]

Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.

Tom wanted two things:

• to learn how to invest his inheritance and,

• to find a wife to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men…