Little Johnny

[earntaz]

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students.
The teacher asked, "little Johnny, what exactly is your problem?"
little Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she!
I think I should be in the third grade, too!"
Ms. Brooks finally had enough; she took little Johnny to the principal's office. While little Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the situation to the principal. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. She agreed.
Little Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Little Johnny: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Little Johnny: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright third grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "You know, I reckon little Johnny can go to the third grade."

But Ms. Brooks is still skeptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, “Not so fast; let me ask him a few questions."
The principal and little Johnny both agree.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Little Johnny, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Little Johnny replied: “Pockets," to the principal's great relief.

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Little Johnny: "Pants."
By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink, then comes out soft and sticky?”
Now the principal's eyes open really wide, and before he could intervene, Little Johnny replied, “Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Little Johnny: "Shake hands."
The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?"
Little Johnny: "Firetruck."
The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief, and tells the teacher, “Put the little bastard in fifth grade;
I got the last seven questions wrong myself."