joke

[shor]

Subject: dinner w/the parents


>A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
>dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
>girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
>like to go out and make love for the first time.
>
>Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
>he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
>pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
>everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
>
>
>At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
>he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy
>insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
>busy, it being his first time and all.
>
>That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
>meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to
>meet my parents, come on in!"
>
>The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
>girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
>and bows his head.
>
>A minute passes and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head
>down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy.
>Finally, after twenty minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
>leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were
>this religious."
>
>The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was
>a pharmacist!"

[jfkheat]

[Mr70]

That's good stuff Chris!

[Mr. T]

DRUNK

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears he has already had plenty to drink and that he could not be served additional liquor. The bartender offers to call a cab for him.

The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down from the bar stool, and staggers out the front door. A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and - still politely if not more firmly - refuses service to the man and again offers to call a cab. The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.

A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is drunk and will be served no drinks. He then tells him that he can either call a cab or the police immediately.

The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish cries, "Man! How many bars do you work at?"