Mr70
03-26-2010, 10:05 PM
The IRS decides to audit Charley,and summons him to their IRS office.
The auditor was not surprised when Charley showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said,"Well sir,you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment,which you explain by saying that you win money from gambling.We here at the IRS find that unbelievable."
"I'm a great gambler,and I can prove it",says Charley..."How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thought for a moment and said,"Okay...Go ahead."
Charley says,"I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says,.."It's a bet."
Charley removes his glass eye and bites it.The auditor's jaw drops.
Charley says,"Now,I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
Now the auditor can tell Charley isn't blind,so he takes the bet.
Charley removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,with Charley's attorney as a witness.
He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Charley asks,"I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand at one side of your desk,and pee into that wastebasket on the other side and never spill a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor,twice burned,is cautious now but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy could possibly manage that stunt,so he agrees again.
Charley stands beside the desk and unzips his pants,but although he strains mightily,he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk as well as his own velcroed closed gym shoes..
The auditor leaps with joy,realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But now Charley's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really"...says the attorney.
"This morning,when Charley told me he'd been summoned for an audit,he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"
http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/Can-I-Have-It.gif
The auditor was not surprised when Charley showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said,"Well sir,you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment,which you explain by saying that you win money from gambling.We here at the IRS find that unbelievable."
"I'm a great gambler,and I can prove it",says Charley..."How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thought for a moment and said,"Okay...Go ahead."
Charley says,"I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says,.."It's a bet."
Charley removes his glass eye and bites it.The auditor's jaw drops.
Charley says,"Now,I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
Now the auditor can tell Charley isn't blind,so he takes the bet.
Charley removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,with Charley's attorney as a witness.
He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Charley asks,"I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand at one side of your desk,and pee into that wastebasket on the other side and never spill a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor,twice burned,is cautious now but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy could possibly manage that stunt,so he agrees again.
Charley stands beside the desk and unzips his pants,but although he strains mightily,he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk as well as his own velcroed closed gym shoes..
The auditor leaps with joy,realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But now Charley's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really"...says the attorney.
"This morning,when Charley told me he'd been summoned for an audit,he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"
http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/Can-I-Have-It.gif