Has Facebook/social media become a necessary evil?

[VintageMusclecar]

Just like the title thread asks, has social media become a necessary evil?

I just found out last night that another one of my childhood friends passed away unexpectedly. Roughly 2 years ago I lost another long-time friend.

So what do these two incidents have in common?

In both instances, I only found out through the grapevine via Facebook (which I do not use)... <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/mad.gif

Apparently few can be bothered to pick up a damned phone and <span style="font-weight: bold">CALL SOMEONE</span> any more, let alone be bothered to answer a Goddamned email.

Apparently social media has now become the &quot;go-to&quot; means of communication???....if so, that's sad, no, that's <span style="font-style: italic">pathetic</span> beyond words. <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/rolleyes.gif

Really biting my tongue at this point trying to head off a rant of Biblical proportions....

I don't get it. I really, really don't get it.

[napa68]

THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

AGREED!

[SS427]

Get used to it cuz it is the way of the future. Have you ever tried to communicate face to face with a younger person these days. Many cannot look you straight in the eye carry on a conversation. Give them an iPhone and they are good to go. We go out with a younger couple from time to time and one night while sitting on the table they were both texting instead of talking to us. When I got mad and asked who was so damned important that they talk to them instead of us, they both looked up at us like we were out of tune and said, &quot;each other&quot;. Yep, across the table from each other and they could not look each other in the eyes and talk but had to text. And these same people will be running our country soon.....

[Xplantdad]

I find it invaluable for when we have to send a message to a bunch of people...quickly. I used to spend hours on the phone when Holly was hospitalized for whatever reason...instead of being in the room with her. Now , I can send the message to everyone in two seconds...and they'll call me when they have the time,,,and I can focus my time on Holly.

Now...butt dialing Rick Nelson at midnight last night...that's a whole 'nother story! <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/blush.gif

[SS427]

Social (butt) media at it's finest..... <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/wink.gif

Hope you are feeling better Bruce!

[Xplantdad]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SS427</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Social (butt) media at it's finest..... <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/wink.gif

Hope you are feeling better Bruce! </div></div>

Trying to Rick...but the body isn't cooperating <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/frown.gif

[VintageMusclecar]

It's obvious at this point that I am completely out of touch with &quot;modern&quot; reality.

I simply can't fathom NOT taking the time to pick up a phone and actually speak, verbally, to another human being/beings--namely family &amp; close friends in such instances. Posting things like that online in lieu of contacting family/friends directly is utterly inconceivable to me. That's so <span style="font-weight: bold">IM</span>personal it's insulting.

I'm sorry if that offends, but damn it, <span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-style: italic"><span style="text-decoration: underline">I'M</span></span></span> offended by the callousness of this. There used to be a time when people physically reached out to others in times of need, now no one can be bothered with it.

Aside from my father, I have but two remaining family members who I'm close with who are still alive, an Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt is dealing with issues similar to those my father is dealing with, and my Uncle recently had to place her in assisted living as he's not in the best of health anymore himself and can no longer care for her on his own.

He and I have stayed in contact for the last few years now via email and telephone calls, which is the way I always thought it was <span style="font-style: italic">supposed to be</span>. I didn't have to go to Twitter or Facebook or something like that to find out what was going on, he had/has the common decency and courtesy to contact me directly to keep me up to date.

I swear to GOD sometimes I think I need to pinch myself to make sure I'm awake and this isn't all just some sick, twisted dream. <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/frown.gif

[VintageMusclecar]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SS427</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Get used to it cuz it is the way of the future. Have you ever tried to communicate face to face with a younger person these days. Many cannot look you straight in the eye carry on a conversation. Give them an iPhone and they are good to go. We go out with a younger couple from time to time and one night while sitting on the table they were both texting instead of talking to us. When I got mad and asked who was so damned important that they talk to them instead of us, they both looked up at us like we were out of tune and said, &quot;each other&quot;. Yep, across the table from each other and they could not look each other in the eyes and talk but had to text. And these same people will be running our country soon..... </div></div>

I'm to the point now where if I'm engaged in a conversation with someone and their phone rings, they answer it and continue to talk to the person on the phone, I'll walk away from them w/o saying a word.

If it's important or an emergency, that's one thing. But if it's obvious it's just a &quot;general bullsh*t&quot; call that they don't politely excuse themselves from in a timely manner, I'm gone.

Funny thing is, when <span style="font-style: italic">I'm</span> the one engaged in a conversation and the phone rings, I answer it and try to politely cut the call short to be returned at a better time, more &amp; more people are seeming to take offense to this.

Never thought I'd live to see the day when good old-fashioned manners would be met with disdain the way they are now.

No doubt about it...I'm the odd man out now.

[Xplantdad]

Eric,

You can believe what you want-but I would rather spend the time with the person who is most in need, than the one who opines that they are the needy one. People who know me....have my phone number...and know that they can call me any time of the day or night to talk. And they have. They also know what's MOST important to me...and I'll just leave it at that.

We all have issues in life that we have to deal with (parents, kids, grandparents, etc). Nobody ever said life was easy. Try spending some time in a pediatric cancer ward-or a hospice center or a dialysis center...and you'll see how fortunate you really are-and how good you have it. God seems to put me in my place when I am feeling sorry for myself...by showing me that there are others that have it way worse than my family does. I thank God for everything that I have.


Part of life is death and part of death is sorrow. I watched both of my parents die in front of me. It wasn't fun. My mother suffered from Alzheimer's for 30 years-then died from Leukemia

I have NEVER had one person say that they were insulted by my &quot;posting&quot; about what's happening with Holly. Most, if not all understand that there are not enough hours in a day to personally call every person that should know. Believe me, I've tried in the past. Either my friends call me later on, or I call them...and we catch up on what's happening and what's going on.

To each his own I guess...

[VintageMusclecar]

Bruce;

That wasn't directed at you, sorry if it came off that way.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself at all. I know full well there are a lot of people out there a helluvalot worse off than I am.

I'm just stunned how impersonal things have become...I honestly don't understand it, and it pisses me off to no end.

[Xplantdad]

Eric-I get that you weren't directing it at me....but I was pointing out that for me---at least in the instances above...it works for me. I STILL call or get calls....but I don't have to spend the time right away to do so. So for that aspect-I am happy that it's around.

As for being on my phone? Ask Rick Nelson how much I hate my &quot;smart phone&quot;.... <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/beers.gif

[VintageMusclecar]

I know someone who has something like 4,000 + &quot;friends&quot; on Facebook....

&quot;Friends&quot;.

I'll leave it at that.

[SS427]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: VintageMusclecar</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
No doubt about it...I'm the odd man out now. </div></div>

I don't think you are the odd man out Eric and totally agree with you. I was merely commenting that it is the way of the future and we better all get used to it. I also hate it. Ann is not on Facebook and many times I will forget to tell her some news regarding a local person and then when we meet with them at a local event Ann is caught off guard with some bad news because I forgot to tell her and since she is not on Facebook never heard the news.

With regards to what Bruce was saying, I only wish we had social media when my father was gravely sick and dying as calling everyone with the news took LOTS of time when I should have been with him not too mention having to repeat the same stories dozens of times over. I don't think in this case it is about people not wanting to be social or that they are lazy, I think we have just found a better way to get the news out in a big hurry. Kind of like your weather app on your phone. Instead of waiting for the 6:00 news to tell you bad weather is on the way you and millions of other people get an immediate alert all simultaneously. In Bruce and Holly's case I find it MUCH easier to get the latest information on what is happening with their health than to bother them repeatedly with phone call questions and not only from me but all of their close friends. I personally have received several emails over the years announcing someone's death and the best part is I received it at the same moment that everyone else did and not hours later. Case in point why that is so much better. I heard about Steve Sandlin's untimely death via a phone call many hours after it happened. Both Ann and I were completely horrified and we immediately called his very closest friend Jeff Culupsa. Imagine my surprise and horror when Jeff knew NOTHING about it and I was the one that broke it to him.

I totally hate the non personal side of social media but in the case of my business it has really opened up my day. I can talk to several customers, vendors, media people, etc without having to ask about the wife and kids (not that I don't care but I am working) and more importantly, I have it IN WRITING. Just some things to think about it. There are pros and cons to both sides.

[VintageMusclecar]

Rick;

I understand the &quot;convenience&quot; aspect of all this, I just don't understand it becoming the primary source of info/communication the way it has.

If I hadn't heard &quot;through the grapevine&quot;, who knows how long it would've been before someone found the time to inform me?

As far as pros and cons, for me, the cons far outweigh the pro's.

Con #1 (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/05/14/facebook_trust_dumb/) (several more examples of this but could not link due to profanity in the subject title)

Con #2 (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/10932534/Facebook-conducted-secret-psychology-experiment-on-users-emotions.html)

Con #3 (http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2014/03/12/nsa-pretended-to-be-facebook-in-its-effort-to-infect-millions-computers/)

I could go on for days, but you get the idea.

&quot;Lesser of two evils&quot; for me.

[GaryC]

I saw this post and wanted to add my 2 cents. I resisted going on any of the social media sites for many years. Where I live now I don't have but a handful of people I can really call friends since I did not grow up here or go to school here. I grew up in Atlanta Ga and left in 73 a year after high school to join the USAF and make my contribution to anywhere aircraft were to wrench on. I never really got a chance to see or even speak to any of my friends since then unless I physically took a flight to see them where ever they are in the states, and they are all over the place now. I finally got sick and tired of just talking to my wife all the time, sorry honey, but you know what I mean by that, that I finally joined FB this past June. It amazed the crap out of me how many of my friends I grew up with in Atlanta that were trying to locate me that are on FB. I was on FB for a week just saying hello. Since then I have slowed down but still get some form of communications from somebody back home or from wherever they are.

I don't necessarily think it is a bad thing as much as I did the many years I resisted joining. It has made me realize how close we all really were then and still are today 40 or so years later. I would recommend it. Now I am trying to find some of my Air Force buddies that may be on FB. And as Eric has said, I have lost a few of my good good friends that I had no clue about until I joined. As for the phone, I'm not a phone person, never was as a kid and still not to this day. With all the advertising that comes with a phone call these days unless I have you in my contacts forget about me answering. I'll answer a text a lot faster than pushing that phone button...and it works for me. My family for the most part here knows that the phone gets laid down when there is a face to face chat going on.

[Enoch]

Too bad there is no &quot;LIKE&quot; button for this thread!!! (Sorry could not resist)

[njsteve]

Anyone that knows me knows that I am a surly curmudgeon who enjoys irritating people as a hobby.

I recently was having a conversation with someone of the younger generation (I'll call him Mr. Rude) who answered his phone in the middle of our conversation.

Instead of walking away, I simply pulled out my phone, dialed Mr. Rude's phone, knowing full well that he would put the other guy on call waiting and answer my call. When he took the bait and answered, I simply gave him those two words that start with F and end with You, and walked away. He was still staring at his phone when I was walking out.

<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/naughty.gif

[Charley Lillard]

Ahh...old cranky guys...

[Charley Lillard]

feel better ?

[68l30]

Facebook.....yep, I'm guilty. My wife set me up with a page. It's nice to keep up with extended family and old friends from way back. I guess you get out of it what ya put into it. Me, not much. It's another mode of communication, there when you need it. Stop in and say hi if your around... Or not.

You can still talk to me on 2M VHF or 70CM UHF.....the original Facebook.


BIG

[jannes_z-28]

I'm into genealogy and if you go back 100 years people communicated with real letters, you know the stuff you write with a pen on paper. Many people had an habit of saving those letters which is an gold mine when you do genealogy.

Then we started to communicate with telephones and the saved communications went away with that.

Now we have email, that can be saved. But who will have the equipment and software to read that in a 100 years from now?

And with Facebook or other social media it's even worse, have you tried to find a one year old message on Facebook. If the person you communicated with dropped you as a friend the message is gone too.


We live in the moment today, history isn't important and the future is for many hopeless. Facebook or texting is the way young people live today.

BTW did you read about that nations and governments are taking up typewriting again because it is harder to eavesdrop on than electronic communication. Back to the Future :-)

[m22mike]

And on another note.........# THIS........... <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/naughty.gif

[SS427]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: m22mike</div><div class="ubbcode-body">And on another note......... # </div></div>

Hey Mike, isn't that the thing we used to play tic tac toe on????

[PxTx]

<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif

[m22mike]

Yep, total different meaning now, I'm still trying to figer out how bean bag toss became cornhole... <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/hmmm.gif

[Salvatore]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Xplantdad</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I find it invaluable for when we have to send a message to a bunch of people...quickly. I used to spend hours on the phone when Holly was hospitalized for whatever reason...instead of being in the room with her. Now , I can send the message to everyone in two seconds...and they'll call me when they have the time,,,and I can focus my time on Holly.

Now...butt dialing Rick Nelson at midnight last night...that's a whole 'nother story! <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/blush.gif </div></div>

I agree Bruce.

ALSO.....many &quot;great&quot; car pictures and articles on FB.

[Dave Rifkin]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: njsteve</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Anyone that knows me knows that I am a surly curmudgeon who enjoys irritating people as a hobby.

I recently was having a conversation with someone of the younger generation (I'll call him Mr. Rude) who answered his phone in the middle of our conversation.

Instead of walking away, I simply pulled out my phone, dialed Mr. Rude's phone, knowing full well that he would put the other guy on call waiting and answer my call. When he took the bait and answered, I simply gave him those two words that start with F and end with You, and walked away. He was still staring at his phone when I was walking out.

<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/naughty.gif </div></div>

That is beautiful.

[GaryC]

One more to add to the mix...I had no idea that schools, at least where my grandkids go, don't even teach cursive writing anymore. You learn how to write your name and that's it.

[Ryan1969Chevelle]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: GaryC</div><div class="ubbcode-body">One more to add to the mix...I had no idea that schools, at least where my grandkids go, don't even teach cursive writing anymore. You learn how to write your name and that's it. </div></div>

That is BS, my kids are not being taught cursive!!

We wil make sure they can write, but stil total BS.

Ryan

[markinnaples]

FWIW, I'm not sure I'd call FB evil, but more of a reasonably easy tool to use to keep in touch with family or friends you never really could very easily before (maybe didn't want to before?).

FB allows you to make just a few clicks and share day to day life, pictures and experiences with friends and family who may not live near you.

It can be a giant time-suck as well as be used as a tool for bullying, but the vast majority of people just use it to keep in touch with others. I think the most interesting thing about it currently is that young people (college age and younger) think it's only good for &quot;old&quot; people now, lol. Awesome.

[XXXGoldL34M20]

Just My 2 Cents.
I only joined Facebook to run my 1970 Chevelle Club and let me tell you all it has been a great thrill for me.
I have met many new people world wide that I have met in person, talked to on the phone and emailed that have the same interests and passion I do for the 70 SS Chevelle in it's original format.
You really don't have to join to have a bunch of fake friends along with your real ones (I have no friends on Facebook as I choose to be private) Some of the Clubs and groups are pretty amazing on Facebook though.
Honestly the Social Internet has really brought good things for me like this sYc forum that I have also met and made friends through. I have also moved and sold many of my spare parts because of Facebook/Forums Etc...

You just have to use it for the better side of things and ignore the bad, even in real life it's like this.
Eric I honestly would have never new about your great services to fix my carb if it was not for the internet <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/biggthumpup.gif

[ORIGLS6]

As a literal &quot;Johnny-come-lately&quot; to the FB thing I admit I enjoy it, BUT, ...... I am in total agreement with Eric on most of his feelings.

Example: a couple of years ago over the Christmas holiday my son &amp; daughter were visiting. They were both texting relentlessly. It irritated me to the point I gave them the choice: Put the damned phones down or LEAVE, and go spend time with the ones who appear to be more important than your family! The phones we stashed for the rest of the evening.

We're probably all guilty (at some time) of answering a phone during a live conversation. I know I've done it, although I do try to excuse myself and make the phone conversation very short. And I know some of the people who have posted here are guilty as well. I've personally experienced it. So before too many of us criticize others perhaps we should look in the mirror.

Let's take Eric's 'observation' as a lesson in courtesy. <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/biggthumpup.gif

[Xplantdad]

Eric...thanks for the PM's back and forth.... <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/beers.gif

Take it easy my friend!

[SS427]

Eric! You used social media and PM'd Bruce instead of picking up the phone and calling him directly????? Shame on you!!!

Just having fun with you my friend! <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/biggthumpup.gif

[Salvatore]

we were all pretty much against computers and emails when they first came out also.

[VintageMusclecar]

I don't even own a cell phone, have no plans to either.

[John Brown]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: VintageMusclecar</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I don't even own a cell phone, have no plans to either.

</div></div>

<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/biggthumpup.gif

[Lynn]

I hear you Eric. No, it isn't a necessary evil. I hope it is a passing fancy, but I fear this generation will make it here to stay.
I refuse to participate.
There are several reasons. It isn't secure enough. There are enough folks who already have access to way more info on me than I am comfortable with.
I can communicate with many friends at once when the need arises (like during our transplant ordeal) by sending mass emails. I don't need facebook.
I have a cell phone. I use it to talk to people. It is in lieu of a land line.
I do not text. When I place an ad on Craigslist, I give my cell phone number, but make it clear that I will answer you call. I will not answer a text.

I find young folks who feel the need to sit and text all friggin day to be idiots. Most of them cannot communicate verbally. They can't make eye contact. Even if they don't have a phone in front of their face (which is rare) they cannot look you in the eye and put a coherent sentence together.

If I was at dinner with a couple who were texting each other, I would promptly tell them that is the absolute pinnacle of rude. They are saying that they are more important than anyone else at the table. Dinner is over for me at that point.

If you are that dependent on it, you are 1. an idiot, and 2. addicted.
Kids that dependent on texting, will be texting and driving. You are just as addicted to that distraction as an alcoholic is to booze. You are, eventually, going to fall victim to the laws of probability and either kill or maim yourself and or someone else.

Kids under 25 shouldn't be allowed to even have a cell phone turned on while driving.

rant over.

[Vern B]

In addition to the whole cell phone FB thing there is another thing that bothers me with the whole digital, electronic world. We have an entire generation(s) down that road that will not have any picture albums of their kids and grand kids. Digital cameras take beautiful pictures and many share them on social media, but few are saving them on hard copies for future generations to enjoy. That's a sad situation that many will regret in the future I believe.

Only time I go on FB is when someone prompts me. Cons outweigh the pros in my case. To each his own.

[69 Post Sedan]

I am on Facebook and, for the most part, like it. I do see people put comments or complain about another and that part I don't like but I just move on.

Since I've joined, I've been reunited with old classmates along with a friend I haven't talked to in over 40 years.

Recently my father in law had a heart attack. He received many phone calls but the best connection he had was having me post updates of his condition on Facebook.

As far as texting, if I have a quick question or just need a short conversation to a person who I know is busy, I'll text but I don't like it to last too long as that's when I will just call.....it's much easier.

So, I like Facebook for the most part but agree that a simple phone call works wonders.

Kurt

[VintageMusclecar]

Those who use Facebook might want to read this (http://thebull.cbslocal.com/2014/08/07/facebook-crosses-the-line-with-new-facebook-messenger-app/#.U-OUpfOKGrw.facebook).

[daverd]

That's one of the reasons I'm not on Facebook or
A twitter twit Ect Ect big brother is watching...

[daverd]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: VintageMusclecar</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Just like the title thread asks, has social media become a necessary evil?

I just found out last night that another one of my childhood friends passed away unexpectedly. Roughly 2 years ago I lost another long-time friend.

So what do these two incidents have in common?

In both instances, I only found out through the grapevine via Facebook (which I do not use)... <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/mad.gif

Apparently few can be bothered to pick up a damned phone and <span style="font-weight: bold">CALL SOMEONE</span> any more, let alone be bothered to answer a Goddamned email.

Apparently social media has now become the &quot;go-to&quot; means of communication???....if so, that's sad, no, that's <span style="font-style: italic">pathetic</span> beyond words. <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/rolleyes.gif

Really biting my tongue at this point trying to head off a rant of Biblical proportions....

I don't get it. I really, really don't get it. </div></div>
Agreed good luck to the young people today as I call them...the blank generation

[John]

....Thanks for sharing that info.....

..... I do not use FaceBook .....but most people are &quot;clueless&quot; when it comes to giving these &quot;permissions&quot;

<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/no.gif