jfkheat
04-10-2005, 06:12 AM
I received the following email today and thought I would share.
James
>If you don't laugh out loud after you read this, you are in a coma! This
>is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day
>at work...think of this guy.
>
>Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
>performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
>station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst
>job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
>Hi Sue,
>Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
>thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
>bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
>you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at
>the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This
>time of year the water is quite cool. So what
>we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
>heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.
>It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
>diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.Now this
>sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
>complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take
>the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
>suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going
>well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I
>scratched it. This only made things
>worse.Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
>from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
>into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
>jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
>fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
>grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
>supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were
>unclear
>due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
>hysterically, needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make
>three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
>thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber
>dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
>nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic,
>with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
>and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The
>cream put the fire out,but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt
>was swollen shut.So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about
>how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
>Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job,
James
>If you don't laugh out loud after you read this, you are in a coma! This
>is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day
>at work...think of this guy.
>
>Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
>performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
>E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
>station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst
>job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
>Hi Sue,
>Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
>bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
>thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
>bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
>you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at
>the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This
>time of year the water is quite cool. So what
>we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
>heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.
>It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
>diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.Now this
>sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
>complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take
>the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
>suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going
>well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I
>scratched it. This only made things
>worse.Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
>from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
>into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
>jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
>fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
>grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
>supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were
>unclear
>due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
>hysterically, needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make
>three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling
>thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber
>dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
>nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic,
>with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
>and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The
>cream put the fire out,but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt
>was swollen shut.So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about
>how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
>Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job,