13, 13, 13

[JK98SS]

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients
were shouting,'13....13....13'
The fence was too high to see over,but I saw a little gap in the planks and
looked through to see what was going on.
Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...

[Denis]

Good one!

[SSJunkie68-69]

T.g.i.f. Vs S.h.i.t.*

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde
already inside who greeted him with a bright,"T-G-I-F."

He smiled at her and replied,"S-H-I-T."

She looked puzzled, and repeated,"T-G-I-F," more slowly.

He again answered,"S-H-I-T."

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."

The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, 'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it - duuhhh?"

The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

[Xplantdad]

A local radio station in SoCal had S.H.I.T. day (Sure happy it's Thursday)...LOL

[SSJunkie68-69]

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's
Christmas Party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party…


As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack
had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a
couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next
to them, a single red rose!


Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins,
cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the
bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in
red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make
you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian. "

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the
table, eating.

Jack asks,"Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell
over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway,
and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son,
"So, why is everything in such perfect order
and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is
on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!...
Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
“Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!!'"


Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time......PRICELESS