The Supercar Registry - Spare me 15 minutes!

Greetings men!

You know, some things in life are major milestones that are to be cherished and remembered for years to come. Getting your driver’s license, your first kiss, and that first paycheck you get after a hard week’s worth of work are all right up there with life’s big events. All joyful things, right? Possibly when they first happen. Then reality sets in and you look at that first paycheck and think, “Why is this so small?” Franticly scouring the paystub you see that the taxes, union dues and initiation fees, and health care deductions all add up to you not getting the Filet Mignon for your celebratory dinner, rather, you get the soup. And not the Lobster Bisque. Oh no, you can only afford the chicken noodle and not the kind with the big noodles. That first kiss resulted in years of broken hearts, never being right....about anything....ever...and alimony payments for years on end to not only someone who has a job and makes more money than you, but is also dating someone that’s worth five times your lifetime earnings. That leaves us with getting that driver’s license. Oh boy oh Boy!!!!! Independence and all things associated with motorized vehicle ownership to include, but not limited to; constant break downs, non-functioning new parts, and physical abuse to one’s body in the form of screw drivers slipping, wrenches breaking loose resulting in snapped off bolts and knuckle gouges, and the ever common hot exhaust manifold skin cauterization knowing full well that manifold is there, isn’t moving, yet you hit it anyway. Yes, these are all good times. Enter a car guy’s ultimate joy of breaking in a brand new engine! What a joyous event, right? RIGHT?!?! Read on....

So one gets that engine all buttoned up and the big day is here. Timing marks are aligned, engine is at top dead center, everything is new to include fuel lines, wiring, all electrics, carburetor, and even the building the car is sitting in: ALL NEW. Checking the weather to verify proper humidity for this joyous event, you notice on your phone a text from a buddy, “Good luck Dave! I’m sure it’ll go smoothly! - Phil”. Right now you can cue the sputtering engine sound from the plane flying overhead followed by the gentle downward spiral and increase in sound as the plane accelerates downward towards the ground. This sets off a chain reaction of things to come. But no matter, everything is checked and we’re ready to fire! Hit the key...nothing. Then realizing that the culprit is that the NOS date coded clutch neutral safety switch is actually doing it’s job, you depress the clutch pedal and crank away! And crank away....and crank away. Smelling gas, you run out quick to investigate all the while thinking to yourself, “That’s it, had it with these friggin’ cars..” and realize you failed to hook a 5” piece of rubber hose from the main fuel line to the fuel pump. Ok, so you quickly fix that problem and think, “Man, I love this hobby!” Hit the motor again and she fires up, then dies. Thinking timing and the fact that this is a Mopar and it likes 184 degrees advanced timing, you increase the base timing a little and try again. Success! Vrrrrrooom!!!!!! Then, cough, cough, sputter, (dead). “How do I place the eBay add with a dead motor? These freakin’ cars....BAH!!!” Alright, time to regroup all the while knowing that I probably spun two to twenty lobes (how ever many a stupid camshaft has) due to all this cranking. Try again, and it finally fires off and goes right up to 3000rpms! WOOHOO!!!! Then after a few minutes of running, see a Niagara Falls of Prestone Green fluid gushing out of a 2.5” hole that I forgot to plug on top of the radiator, but no matter. The engine quickly sputters and then dies. Great....”Yep, ..time to get into something else. I hear boating is pretty easy and not fraught with all these issues. I could sell the Cuda and get a nice boat!” After the EPA is called and the work zone is cleaned up, it’s time to fire up that stupid engine again. {crank crank} vrrroomm...[cough cough]-clunk. “What the..(door slam). Ugh. Maybe if I just stare at it for a bit....” So we all know the basics of air, fuel, and spark. Time to investigate spark. The fresh dual point, when this contraption of various ferrous metals was actually running, was very finicky when I touched it to adjust the timing. Maybe that’s it? So with that, one would think they would look closely at the points to see if they’re sequenced properly. And, one would be right. But this assumes that one knows how dual points actually work, which this “one” does not. A quick Google search reveals they are indeed functioning correctly. But in syncing the distributor with the number one rotor to cap configuration, it doesn’t look anything like what the manual says. Must be something goofy in that distributor. It has to be! Of course it does, so out to the parts place I go and after explaining who makes a 1970 Cuda to the guy behind the counter and the it doesn’t have power door locks, I walk away with a remanufactured distributor. You have to be asking yourself by now, did that work? Is this going to be the end of the drama? Then you realize that, Oh, no it’s not. This is written by Dave, so what’s the next chapter? Read on....

The next day the sun rises like it normally does and the horses get fed like they normally do. I drink about a pot of coffee, post on Yenko.net, then hit the commode to send a package via Aquamail to the chief pilot, all like I normally do. But today is different since with new distributor in hand, I’m going to show this engine who’s boss. Stab it, crank it, (vrrrooommm) and it’s running! Woohoo! Then cough cough, wheeeze, (laugh), then clunk. Dead. And with that, who is the boss? Not me. The mighty LA block Mopar comes out a swinging with a one-two punch to the solar plexus and left jaw followed by a “Moe” to the eyeballs. “Jesus, Allah, Buddha...What the fffffff...?!?” Now it’s popping and missing after it was just running for a few minutes perfectly. Time to pull the plugs and see what’s going on. Lining them up revealed number seven and number six looked brand new, never fired, pristine. Eureka! That’s it! They must have been firing but then stopped just coincidentally at the same time to engine died. They look a little worn, but way cleaner than the others. Sort of like Specter’s single bullet theory. Little bit of deformation but nothing that would indicated anything major just occurred to multiple body parts. So what gives? Seems the date coded, red booted, factory correct spark plug wires are too short on those two cylinders resulting in them pulling away. Good freaking grief. Back to Oreily’s fo the following conversations:

Parts guy; “Oh hey man, did you get that Cuba running?”
Disgruntled customer; “No, so now I need a set of spark plug wires, and it’s a Cuda, not a Cuba. Cuba is a country.”
Parts guru; “Right, Cuda....spark plug wires...(tippity type..tippity type)....(long pause)..(blank stare).
Agitated soon-to-be boat owner; “Plymouth”.
Parts Master; “PLYMOUTH....right...right....”.

I leave with my new wires and head for what I know will be the answer. A quick install and it fires right up! “Woohoo, again! Man, these cars are so cool! Can’t wait for the Super Car Reunion, MCACN, and (chuggah chuggah, pop, wheeze, klunk...diesel...die) the eBay ad to go live.”

So this much we know; everything is new or rebuilt, timing is set at 10 degrees BTDC, rotor pointing to number 1. The car will start and run great and then after it starts to warm up, it dies. I know what your thinking and I thought that too. As the coil is getting hot it’s doing that “going to fail” coil thing and starting on down the road to the trash can. Fortunately like all car guys, I have a myriad of parts on the shelf that are handy for just this occasion. Spare diode from a 1963 alternator for a BMW 2002 to which I have no clue where I got, it’s on the shelf. Extra set of SBF valve guides? On the shelf. Extra coil? Nope. Back to, well, you know where. After the new coil is in we are yet again in the same predicament. Ballast resistor! That’s it! Yeah, no, that’s not it either. Sensing the impending implosion, Kelly, in her sweet voice, says, “Is it getting gas?” Of course it is, I think? Let me check. The date coded fuel filter is a solid type so you can’t see the fuel inside, but thinking I know what a full fuel filter feels like, it does feel full. I peer down the throat of the freshly rebuilt Carter much like a teenager peering through a hole in the girls locker room shower, and articulate the linkage. I see the accelerator pump squirt fuel just like it’s supposed to. So I’m getting gas. Maybe the fault is a stuck float? Well, nuts to taking this thing apart. I’ll just swap on an Edelbrock. Disconnect the line and fuel comes out of the Carter as expected. Some quick priming and she fires right up, sounds great, smooth, and Woohoo! I knew this would (cough cough..sputter...gasp) be a great video to post on my eBay ad. Un....be....lievable.

I sit down quietly on the floor and stare endlessly into space. Like a deer in 1982 sensing that Mount Saint Helens was about to blow, Kelly uses the non-revenue free travel passes and quietly leaves Texas to let me be alone with some peaceful solitude before I start to lose touch with reality. Look at the colors! They swirl so nicely. Why do the floaty things in my eyes move away when I try to stare at them? Man, I need a break. Texts back and forth to James, the guy I bought Crusty from, shows he is just as perplexed as me. All of his ideas combined with mine are leading nowhere. Countless hours ensue of online searching of every possible scenario search I can come up with. “Car dies when hot.” “1970 Cuda warm up dies”. “Cuda won’t stay running when hot.” “Hot Cuda, big boobs.” Oh, wait...that was another search.

Alrighty, mind cleared after a good night sleep and I’ve got another game plan. Reset the timing for the ninth time just to check. What’s nine times, ninetuplet? After that I fire it up and check. As one can probably tell this didn’t fix anything but rather, just added to what I already knew that I didn’t know, and that’s what the FREAK the problem with this PIECE of CRAP Car hobby stupid BLASTID MOTHER!!!!!!...ok, ok...calm it down. Time to check the last piece of the puzzle, the fuel pump. I know fuel is going up there, but maybe it’s intermittent for whatever reason? I gotta try anything at this point. Having a clear fuel filter on will let me see what’s exactly going on here. I secured the factory filter with those clampy style Otis Redding clamps, er, whatever they’re called, so for quick access I just cut the hose. I cut the hose on the carburetor side and a trickle of fuel came out. Hmmm....ok. I cut the hose on the fuel pump side of the hose and there was a massive pressure release of fluid not seen since I watched my first adult film! At that moment I knew that not only did I need a cigarette since I’d just been effed’ over so freaking hard for this whole drama session fighting a $1.99 part, but I FINALLY found out the root of the whole colostomy bag of a problem. The fuel filter internal baffle was built faulty and only allowed a minute amount of fuel to get to the carburetor. This would keep the engine running enough for it to heat up but not run long afterwards. Once it died, the built up pressure from the pump would slowly meter fuel back into the bowls. This was why it would start when cold and then die when warm. It was just coincidence that the amount of fuel the carburetor had, and was getting, was just the right amount needed to let it run long enough until it got warm.

But looking back, what was the REAL problem with this whole cam break in? Simple. A text from Phil, “Good luck Dave! I”m sure it’ll go smoothly!”:biggthumpup:

Cheers,:beers:
Dave