Joke
 

My Last Trip to Costco
Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Rex, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is you load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

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[img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif[/img] but, did the poodle get hit too? [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/dunno.gif[/img]

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[img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif[/img] The best ones are when they're in 1st person. [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/biggthumpup.gif[/img]

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That made my day...excellent [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/beers.gif[/img]

wilma

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HAHAHAHA .... Maybe try Pet smart ... They don't frown on ass sniffing either [img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/burnout.gif[/img]

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A man was having an affair with a young Italian girl.
One night she confided in him that she was pregnant.Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage,he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.If she stayed in Italy to raise the child,he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed,but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete,he told her to simply mail him a post card and write Spaghetti on the back.
He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
9 months later he came home to his confused wife.
&quot;Honey,you received a very strange post card today&quot;.
&quot;Oh..just give it to me and I'll explain it later&quot;,he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card,turned white,and fainted.
On the card was written:&quot;Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Spaghe tti, Spaghetti..Three with meatballs,two without.Send extra sauce.&quot;

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[img]<<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/haha.gif[/img]

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That's funny I don't care who you are especially if your ITALIAN.

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Good one!!

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