Don't Mess With Texas ATC
 

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised."

Dallas ATC "Tower to Iran Air 711 -- You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great."

Pause: Static............

Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC - DALLAS ATC"

Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?"

Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE.
INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE.

Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us -- ya hear?!"
Moral: DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS! https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...mlins/flag.gif

Re: Don't Mess With Texas ATC
 

https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...iggthumpup.gif

Re: Don't Mess With Texas ATC
 

Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206. Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway." Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,...... and I didn't land."

Re: Don't Mess With Texas ATC
 

Now that there was funny! I bet those Germans were pissed and did not have very much of a response to that!

Bobby Dodson

Re: Don't Mess With Texas ATC
 

The pilot also stated that he was flying a Boeing that time also. (referencing the B-17)

Re: Don't Mess With Texas ATC
 

101% German here and even I'm laughing. https://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/imag...lins/laugh.gif