[earntaz]

Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner.

♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble ... but shouldn't that be an even number?

♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom, until they are flashing behind you.

♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote.

♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you fall in love with someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

♦ Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.

♦ You're not fat, you're just easier to see.

♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"

♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe, before you start looking like a mental patient.

♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

Now, don’t you feel better knowing what an aphorism is?