The Drunk (joke)

[JK98SS]

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a
drink Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table.
He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest,
biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I
saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says........


"Grandpa,.... Go home, you're drunk."

[Mr70]

Scene:a bar set in the mid 1970's.
They have a piano player there playing familiar love songs & show tunes,while announcing the titles/authors name to the crowd,all while sipping complimentary brandy from a snifter.As the night progresses,the piano player gets overserved and begins to go "BLUE" on the crowd.
The latenight audience begins to gasp at the shear obscenity & risque theme of some of the titles/lyrics he is playing.Lyrics that would make Redd Foxx blush.
Soon the piano player announces he has to take a bathroom break,and stumbles off into the mens room.The crowd is overcome with silence.
As he walks back out to the piano to announce he'll now take requests,a woman from the audience yells out,"Do you know your fly is open & your dripping all over yourself".
The piano player replies.."Know it..Lady I wrote it!".

[GRB]

Long before poker became the sensation it is today Redd Foxx sat down at our $2 table at Balys. This had to be about 10 or so years ago and I'm quiet sure before he died!
You couldn't make this man blush. I was shocked too to see he didn't have two nickles to rub together. One of the floor guys had to run find his wife just to get him enough money to play poker! Not a happy man!

I hit four of a kind against him when he had a boat and swear I thought the poor old guy was going to have a heart attack.

[x Baldwin Motion]

[ QUOTE ]
..... and swear I thought the poor old guy was going to have a heart attack.

[/ QUOTE ]

" 'Lizbeth, I'm coming... it's the big one !!"

[Lynn]

Fellow bellies up to the bar. Sets his attache case on the bar, opens it up, takes out a little miniature piano, then, to everyone’s surprise takes out a little one foot tall fellow who starts playing the piano.

Guy next to him is astonished and asks, “where did you get that?"

“Genie out in the alley said I could have one wish, and next thing I knew here is this little guy and his piano.”

“One wish? Aren’t you supposed to get three?”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules, just followed directions.”

Other guy runs out into the alley. Sure enough there is a real live Genie. Asks for a million bucks. Next thing you know there are literally a million DUCKS flying overhead. Duck crap everywhere. Runs back into the bar and sits next to the first guy, who asks, “Well, did you get a wish?”

“Sure enough, but I think that Genie is a little hard of hearing.”

“Tell me about it. Do you really think I wanted a twelve inch pianist?”

[Xplantdad]

[ QUOTE ]
“Tell me about it. Do you really think I wanted a twelve inch pianist?”


[/ QUOTE ]


LOL...good one!