How the fight started

[Woj]

One year, a husband decided to buy his
mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************** **********************

My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"
I replied "Dust".

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************** **********************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need
you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************** **********************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something
shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.
'I bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************** **********************

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started....

************************************************** **********************

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started....

************************************************** ******************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started.....

************************************************** **********************************

[Rixls6]

LOL

[SSJunkie68-69]

[BJCHEV396]

Good stuff!!LOL!!

[Denis]

I rear ended a car the other and the driver was this really short guy who leaped out yelling I AM NOT HAPPY! So I asked him which one he was. And then the fight started.

[wheelhop]

This guy walks into the kitchen with a duck under his arm.
His wife is standing there and he says, "this is the fat pig I've been telling you about."

The wife says, that's not a pig, that's a duck.

He says, I wasn't talking to you.

and then the fight started.

[SSJunkie68-69]

Sheer Nightgown:

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for
his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500
in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for
the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to
his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy ), 'I have an idea. It's so
sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling
naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least
iron it!'

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.