Little Johnny in History class ...

[Motion Camaro]

<font color="blue">The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.
'Very good!'
Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'
Again, no response except from Little Johnny, 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863'.
The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed; Little Johnny knows more about history than you do.'
She heard a loud whisper: '[censored] the Indians,'
'Who said that?' she demanded.
Little Johnny put his hand up, 'General Custer, 1862.'
At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'
The teacher glares around and asks 'All right!!! Now who said that!?'
Again, Little Johnny says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'
Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'
Little Johnny jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'
Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little [censored]. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'
Little Johnny frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.'
The teacher fainted.
And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh [censored], we're screwed!'
Little Johnny said quietlly, "The American people, November 4, 2008 ."


</font>

[1968 nova ss]

I second the motion on that one;and alot thought the economy would not get worse.I beg to differ.Chris

[JoeG]

1347 days 2hours 25minutes 35 seconds left in this administration..............but hey who's counting..

[firstgenaddict]

[x Baldwin Motion]

you're all gonna get busted

[Ngtflyr]

I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania ).
The cost is a bit high @ $800 per day per person double occupancy but I
didn't find that offensive. What I found encouraging and enlightened is
that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their 'High powered
weapons' along on the cruise.
If you don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat.
They claim to have a master blacksmith on board and will have reloading
parties every afternoon.
The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of $3200
per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and
down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates.
Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package:
$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)
M-16 full auto rental $25.00/day - ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor
piercing ammo at $15.95
Ak-47 rifle @ No charge - ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo
at $14.95
Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle rental $55.00/day - ammo at 25 rounds
50 cal armor piercing at $9.95
Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour (spotting scope
included).
Far Out ---- they even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for 3
standard loads
"Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and
coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am ."
Meals are not included but seem reasonable.
Most cruises offer a mini-bar.
These gung ho entrepreneurs offer........... get this .....
"MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"
Sign my arse up!
They advertise group rates and corporate discounts...... and even claim
"FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"
They even offer a partial money back guarantee if not satisfied.
Here's some text from the ad:
"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts
by pirates or we will refund half your money back including gun rental
charges and any unused ammo ( mini gun charges not included)..
How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking?
We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia . If an
attempted Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and
cruise by at 4 knots.
We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the
entire length of Somalia .
At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at
intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention.
Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before
Feb 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your
choice."
As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were a few
testimonials:
"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game
in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!"----
Lars , Hamburg Germany
"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates
and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES 0
-PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks
English"
Ned, Salt Lake city , Utah USA
I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM . Don't worry
about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship
with those weapons they use and their shitty aim--reminds me of a
drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in
Nam" -
"chopper' Dan ---- Toledo USA .
"Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw them
bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate
eaten by sharks--what a laugh riot!! This is a must do.---
Zeke-Minnahaw Springs Kentucky USA
Finally, someone had the common sense to cash in AND solve a major
problem.

[Born30YrsLate]

HOLY CRAP...only $15.95 for 100 M-16 rounds...give me that number, that's a steal!

[x Baldwin Motion]

[ QUOTE ]
HOLY CRAP...only $15.95 for 100 M-16 rounds...give me that number, that's a steal!

[/ QUOTE ]

That price is only with the M16 rental and four day cruise.

[Born30YrsLate]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
HOLY CRAP...only $15.95 for 100 M-16 rounds...give me that number, that's a steal!

[/ QUOTE ]

That price is only with the M16 rental and four day cruise.

[/ QUOTE ]

What if you bring your own...do you get credited for the cost of the rental towards the price of the cruise?...

[SSJunkie68-69]

here's a funny one that I got this morning....

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr.
Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts. Dr. Smith advised her: 'Every day after your shower, I want you to rub your chest and say, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies.'


She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She
grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning, she was running late, got on
the bus and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.

Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite
the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the
bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger
boobies.'
A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked, 'By any chance, are
you a patient of Dr. Smith's?'
'Why, yes I am... How did you know?'
He leaned closer, winked, and whispered, ' Hickory dickory dock...'