Beer theories

[m22mike]

Beer Theories:
>
> Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel
> ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
> brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
> might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is
> better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and
> worry about my liver."
>
>
> Babe Ruth
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up
> in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
>
>
>
>
>
> Lyndon B. Johnson (?)
> ; ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up
> reading."
>
>
>
> Paul Horning
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I
> think not."
>
> H. L. Mencken
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall
> asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go
> to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
>
>
> George Bernard Shaw
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
>
>
>
> Benjamin Franklin
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
> mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
> but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
>
>
>
> Dave Barry
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> BEER:
> HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
>
>
>
> W. C. Fields
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
>
>
>
> Professor Irwin Corey
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
> Salvation in a can!
>
>
>
> Leo Durocher
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo
> Theory" to his
> buddy Norm:
>
> "Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can
> only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is
> the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural
> selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
> health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
> weakest members! ; In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as
> fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know,
> kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
> cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker
> brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's
> why you always feel smarter after a few beers."