jokes

[jfkheat]

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big
"everything-under-one-roof" department store looking for a job. The
manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says,"Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow.
I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store
was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?" The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.
How much was the sale for?"
The kid says, "$101,237.64."
The boss says, "$101,237.64?! What the hell did you sell?!"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium
fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new
fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down
at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to
the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he
said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to
the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a
boat and truck?"
Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I
said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.




Golf and the Physiotherapist
-------------------------

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her
ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of them and he immediately fell to the ground clutching
his hands together in his groin, and rolled around in obvious agony.

The woman rushed over and immediately began to apologize "Please allow me
to help, I'm a physiotherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if
you'll allow me" she told him.

"Oh no I'll be all right, I'll be fine in a few minutes" the man replied,
still lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at
his groin.

Following her persistence however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them at his sides, she loosened
his trousers and put her hand inside.

She administered tender and skillful massage for several long moments and
then asked "How does that feel?"

He replied "It feels fabulous, but my thumb still hurts like hell"


James