You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

[Lee Stewart]

[Lee Stewart]

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[Lee Stewart]

[Lee Stewart]

[Lee Stewart]

[Lee Stewart]

[Lee Stewart]

WAM Architecten Studio - Inntel Hotel, Netherlands, 2010

From the description, I thought it was an artist's rendition. It's not. It's a real hotel:

[Lee Stewart]

I once had a connection to musician Frank Zappa. Well sort of . . .

Normally my business took me to either New York City or Long Island. But one of my long standing clients had taken a new job in New Jersey. We scheduled a lunch date.

As I was getting in the car to go back to Lynbrook (L.I.) my cell phone rang. It was our office manager.

"Lee - are you done with your lunch appointment?" I responded that I was getting ready to leave NJ and would be back in the office by 4PM.

"I have an emergency appointment for you and it's only a few miles away from where you are. Can you get over there right away? Just ask for Bob"

15 minutes later I entered the company where the emergency was and announced my name and I was here to see Bob.

"Oh thank god you're here! I'll take you to his office."

We are walking through a very large open area with at least 50 people and all Hell has broken loose. I can easily see why. None of the computer screens are working properly. The images are either rolling or tearing. And everyone is frantic. She introduces me to Bob who is the VP in charge of Info Tech.

Bob grabs my hand and shakes it vigorously. "Thanks for coming on such short notice. I don't know what's wrong. Everything is brand new and nothing is working. I am a good friend of, he mentions one of my best client's name, and he told me to give you guys a call."

As I sit down in front of his desk, he has a name plate on it: BOB ZAPPA. In sales school they taught me never to talk about the fish on the wall as almost all sales people will. Rise above them. But I was super curious so I filed it for later - after I figured out what went wrong.

I asked about rebooting and power issues - none applied so I went out into the bull pen and just started looking around. And low and behold, I see the problem immediately.

"Folks, would everyone please take their seats. I can fix this immediately but you will have to make some adjustments to working."

I went back to Bobs office and asked him to turn all the lights off in the work area. As soon as he did, all the computer screen snapped into their regular operational mode. A huge cheer was voiced.

Bob and I went back to his office and I asked him a very serious question:

"Who did the installation?"

"The cousin of the owner. It was a big job money wise."

The IBM System 36 which Bob's company bought used very special connectors to attach the terminals to the mainframe. You had to use a special crimping tool, sold only by IBM for $5000, to make the connection. The cousin either didn't know that or tried to save the money for himself. He used black electricians tape. And because they weren't crimped properly, the over head florescence lights were interfering with the data signals. Turn off the lights - works fine. Turn them on - chaos. How did I know this? I had a friend who worked for IBM and while having lunch he made me aware of the issue telling a funny story.

"Bob, the cousin fuc*ked up the installation. You can work with the lights off but you really need to get it fixed. Call Forest Electric and mention my name. They will take care of you."

He didn't waste any time. Got on the phone right then and there and scheduled them to come out the next morning.

Work is done - problem fixed or at least on it's way. Time to socialize.

"Bob, are you any relation to Frank Zappa?

"He's my brother."

Bob weighed almost twice as much as Frank but he did have the thick jet black hair and moustache. We spent the next hour talking about his childhood, his brother and other people we knew in IT.

3 days later my office manager calls me.

"Lee! Forest Electric sent us a very large gift certificate to The Palm in NYC (my favorite restaurant) - when are we going?

[dustinm]

Awesome Lee

[Mr70]

Frank Zappa (left) with Jason Zappa (centre), the son of Bobby Zappa (right).
On 8 December 2018 Dweezil Zappa announced on his Twitter page that his Uncle Bobby Zappa had passed away.