You might be a Redneck if...

**Charley Lillard** · #1 08-13-2003, 02:55 PM

You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.

You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on
the side. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of
improvements. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

And last, but not least... Somebody tells you that you've got something
in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!

Verne_Frantz · #2 08-13-2003, 03:05 PM

When you think the last 4 words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines".

**sYc** · #3 08-13-2003, 03:44 PM

You attend your grandfathers funeral, and ride to the cemetery in the back of a pick up truck. (true story)

JoeG · #4 08-13-2003, 08:44 PM

You think Possum is the other white meat.

Chevy454 · #5 08-13-2003, 08:49 PM

Is it just me, or am I picking up an "anti-Missouri" vibe in here today? Trailer trash, rednecks...it seems to be hititng pretty close to home! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

The irony of the thing is this thread was started by a guy from California! Tell me again, how many people do you have running for Governor? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/haha.gif[/img]

**Charley Lillard** · #6 08-13-2003, 09:03 PM

Now Rob, I don't see Missouri mentioned anywhere in my Post.. Does the Shoe fit ? Do you Sport a Mullet ? Do you associate with any of those descriptions ? [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/naughty.gif[/img]

JoeG · #7 08-13-2003, 09:46 PM

Funny------I think I've been in the wilderness too long because I was able to check 2 or 3 off the list [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

**Tommy** · #8 08-13-2003, 10:48 PM

Charley did make A recent trip to Tennessee in "the Mule" this year. Nice Camaro, I couldn't find Charley though.

Tommy (from Alabama, [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/burnout.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/

[/img]

bryankiwi · #9 12-06-2008, 01:17 PM

I guess I have to put my hand on a few of them as well

RamAirDave · #10 12-07-2008, 04:16 AM

[ QUOTE ]
You have a rag for a gas cap.

[/ QUOTE ]