Old Golf joke updated

[Canuck]

Florida Highway patrol arrive to see a crashed Escalade, a famous golfer lying beside it and a Five Iron on the ground.
They proceed to gather info and ask the other person on the scene:
Q:Mrs Woods,is that your husband lying there?
A:Yes thats him.

Q:Did you rescue him from the vehicle?
A: Yes i did.

Q: how did you get him out of the vehicle?
A: I broke the back window.

Q: Did you use that golf club?
A; Yes I did

Q; how many times did you hit the window?
A: I am not sure, maybe 4,could have been six times..... put me down for a five.

[gb70]

funny.

On a serious note regarding this situation for Tiger, there is certainly something fishy there. I am gonna guess that the Mrs. Woods was not on a rescue mission but rather a I am gonna hit you and or that car mission, at 2:30 in the morning. The truth will come out IMO.

[Xplantdad]

LOL...

Did he have too many "irons" in the fire?

Did a "birdie" tell her that he was cheating?

I bet she really wanted to "tee off" on him!

Maybe it was just "par" for the course for him?

Or was it just a "stroke" job?

http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/naughty.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/naughty.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[gb70]

Wow, Bruce your good! Funny!

[x Baldwin Motion]

his girlfriend said "you're not out of the Woods yet..."

[Xplantdad]

Puns are fun! http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/naughty.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[gb70]

[ QUOTE ]
Puns are fun! http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/naughty.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Let me try,

"Tiger looks to be in the rough" http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[1969l78]

Tiger is not the straightest driver on the tour..... http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/3gears.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/3gears.gif

[Ngtflyr]

First time Tiger failed to drive at least 300yds.

[WILMASBOYL78]

I just read a private news report that said Tiger wasn't actually driving the vehicle...Cumby was !! http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/3gears.gif Tiger was really in the back seat with Howie and Tibor http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Just wanted to be sure you guys knew the true story http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/beers.gif

[canadian_ssl78]

Too bad he wasn't driving a Lexus. He could have just blamed it on the floor mats

[gb70]

how about,

Tiger's gonna need a wedge to get out of that mess.

or

that looks like a bad lie.

[Xplantdad]

LOL...you guys are funny! http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Dog427435]

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.



What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a Ball 400 yards.


Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.



What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing




Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.




Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They said to named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."





Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family—his new name: Cheetah




Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?

[COPO_Anders]

Since Elin is from Sweden, she´s probably a hardcore girl !

http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/headbang.gif

[SBR]

I'll bet that she saw the text messages and got really pissed.

[Kim_Howie]

And your handle is WHAT?? Oh Yeah WILMAS BOY Humm. http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif

[ORIGLS6]

Wasn't the first time I was Howie's 'designated driver'. http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Actually we were trying to find his hotel. He kept saying, "I think it's here; TURN LEFT NOW!!!!"

[WILMASBOYL78]

Cumby...you have never gone to the left http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/flag.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[ORIGLS6]

http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/haha.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/haha.gif Touché. http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/worship.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/beers.gif

[njsteve]

[ QUOTE ]
Since Elin is from Sweden, she´s probably a hardcore girl !

http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/headbang.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

So would she be considered Swedish Nuerotica? http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[SSJunkie68-69]

Happy Holidays from Windemere, Florida

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k273/ssjunkie/elin.jpg

Got the Woods's Holiday Card today~

[Xplantdad]

So did I... LOL

[StriperSS]

You guys are cracking me up! http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/haha.gif

[Lynn]

[ QUOTE ]
Happy Holidays from Windemere, Florida

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k273/ssjunkie/elin.jpg

Got the Woods's Holiday Card today~

[/ QUOTE ]

I suspect some photoshopping. There was no golf ball in his ear when that was taken.

[gwawa]

Things like that happen when you play the wrong hole......

[Mr70]

January 2010's cover of Golf Digest takes on a whooooooooole new meaning. http://www.yenko.net/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
This is not photoshopped and they're flying off the shelves here..

http://image3.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID20836/images/ex_golf_digest_cover_tiger_and_obama.jpg